just here

frustrating day at work. people dont do shit. thats fine, but dont get in my way and slow me down. blah blah. i have done the most out of all the maintanance people. fuck! im tired. but i will never rest. never give up. i have rested enough in the past. i should try to apply my work ethic to school. but its hard. i dont want to go to school. its not like i want to work....yes i do. its a sense of accomplishment for myslef. the school is an acomplishment for those that give me the job, then....i make something for myself at that job. fuck that shit, whatever. i think im gonna go chill with erik today, but i dunno if i wanna go out and fuck around like that. i dunno. maybe i will. im just tired of being tired. i wanna have a weekend off, or a day off even. where i dont have to do shit, but have business' open so i can get shit done that i need to get done. "i swear your just like a pill, instead of makin me better, you keep makin me ill..." i think im gonna sit here a bit more, then figure some shit out.im losing weight???? i dunno.i got my mri films. i cant tell shit. i look fine, but what the fuck do i know.i want to weigh myself. i keep eating a lot, but i seem to be skinny??? i dunno. i want to get stronger, not weaker. i need to row to see if im stronger, or worse, i know im not the smae, cause i never had the opportunity to level out.better would be 7 or under. worse would be like....near 8, SHIT i know im not that bad.my back feels a little better i think. i dont know if i need surgery or not. i hope that he doesnt recomend surgery. i dunno. if it will cure me, i will, but i doubt it will. i just dont want to fuck myself up worse next year. anyway, i will write later. im gona go do some shit.